i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
