oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Randomize
