your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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