I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
