Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
