why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
