last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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