Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
