I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
