Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
