He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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