Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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