i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
