Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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