We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
