im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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