I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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