His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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