I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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