you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
