I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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