What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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