Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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