if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
