so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
