# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
