If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
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