im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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