Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
