When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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