im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Banned from zoo.
Again?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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