So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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