I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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