that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
