wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
