Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
