So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
