I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
