fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
