I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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