Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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