fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
