my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
