My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
We have so much sex to catch up on
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
