State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
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Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
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The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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