well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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