Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
