I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize