NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
