Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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