I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
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Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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