I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
