Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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