i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
