if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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