we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize