Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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