it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
