youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize