We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
