Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
