I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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