I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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