hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
