I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
