I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
